It's been an interesting month. The time for pouring out incoherent globs of my thoughts because my head hurts.

Throughout this month I've been constantly thinking about how powerful people's influences can be, and possibly genetics too.

Imagine that family member that you've never really talked to, but just said hi and stuff everytime you have a family gathering or whatever. The only interaction is just through listening to their conversations with other people while you mind your own business. Through these years of observations you learn what this person is like. Sometimes you can gather more information from others and further build your own impression on this person. I've actually gathered a lot of information about family members just by eavesdropping (oops); I learned what they do for a living, what they do during their free time, what they did with their kids recently, etc.

But what if one day that family member was suddenly gone, the person you never really talked to, but visited often and knew a lot about? What would happen to the kids and spouse? The kids are only starting their adulthood with most expenses covered by parents, while the spouse doesn't have a formal job and can't speak English. The only source of income is now gone, and all the responsibilities which were previously taken care of by one person, are distributed throughout the family. Luckily, the family isn't completely lost because there's life insurance, which was a very smart decision for the member to take.

You can just tell when a person is very influential and has many loving and caring friends and family. When they all come together in a long line or crowd, it only confirms how important and special this person is. I would imagine the person is looking over in spirit, saying thanks while giving the last goodbyes. Of course even after the last goodbye, the "spirit" still looks over watching and protecting you.

I would think the person who would find all this the hardest is the mother of the family member. After immigrating across the ocean and suddenly losing her husband shortly after, she and her four children have to work hard to make a comfortable living. Years pass, and she loses her son to cancer. Less than ten years later, she suddenly loses another son. For some reason, she does not attend the service for her sons. Maybe because it was too emotional? I know that it's difficult for parents to bury their own child, but why not say last goodbyes? Would the sudden loss of the husband and the second son be somehow related? What will happen to the third and youngest son? What will happen now to the surviving members of the family?

Too many questions and thoughts with answers that will either come in the future or never.


R.I.P.
1960-2013